i’m so sick of having to paint things that i don’t care about and having to do it in such a short amount of time; it boring and tedious and i’m just so angry because this class is my first real experience with painting and it’s leaving a sour taste in my mouth.
i’m sick of painting things that i’m proud of and having the professor tell me he’s disappointed in the lack of skill shown or that he just generally doesn’t like it because if i feel like i have personally reached a milestone or genuinely enjoy what i have created then i don’t give a flying FUCK what you think - and if you even consider giving me a poor grade despite all of my efforts i promise i won’t hesitate to kick you square in the genitals.
i can’t even begin to explain how angry i am that something that i could potentially love is just become a fucking chore. i don’t want to finish this piece of shit painting (you expected a masterpiece in a week? i seriously just learned how to paint this year. i’m still awful at it, and you remind me that every week, thanks btw) i just want to start crying and throw a fit, i want to throw shit and break things and make a mess i can barely remember ever being this angry holy sweet fUCK i’m so MAD.